Get Your Zulu On

I have nothing to offer, nothing to give...

For I am not my own, I was bought at a price...

I take my thoughts and make them captive...

I no longer live, but Christ lives in me...

I pray not for a heart that beats, but for one that has been circumsized. That a daily operation would take place that would work all things according to my good...

So that I may be conformed to His likeness.

For when I am last, I will be first and if I lose my life, I will find it, and if I am weak then I am strong for His grace is sufficient.

I boast in my weaknesses. I ask to be commanded to get out of the boat, and live the life that was planned for me before I was born. Knitting me together in the deep and dark places that no one else could see...

But, this is hard. I follow a suffering savior, am surrounded by sufferings, yet cling to my own safety, comfort and security. I am weak, but He is strong.

These people do not need me, I need them. To bring me back to what is truly important. To be reminded of what is real and what is truly a lie. That there are matters of life and death, light and darkness, things that matter for all of eternity.

My thoughts are not His thoughts, my ways are not His ways...

This world is not all there is, this is not a war of flesh and blood...we need not only see and believe on what is seen, but on what is unseen.

I count, I finally have a birth certificate ------ I exist. These are issues that really matter.

My first time home from Ntshongweni, I had a melt down in Publix. Thinking it would be a nice idea to buy some Oreos for the family - but what type... so many choices... who really cares... I left my cart in the aisle, filled with food and went home. To be alone with two refrigerators stocked with food, beds in every bedroom, a roof that doesn't leak, electricity at a flick of a switch and running, clear, safe water at the turn of a knob. Two children that are healthy, jobs that are available and have the opportunity for advancement, relative safety and opportunities that abound for those that are interested in engaging. I had parents until I was 29.

Five years ago when we started this relationship, I truly thought I had something to give. Now I know the truth. I am only a receiver.

A member of the journey, a witness to light - of loving my neighbor as I love myself. To bear one another's burdens,

and to walk in the light...

The man who does the will of God lives forever....

... look after orphans and widows in their distress....  

Jessica